16 May 2011

Words of Wisdom

Since taking on my new role as Domestic Goddess I have learned many things.  I thought I'd share some with you.  Gosh, aren't you lucky!

Typing anything with a baby on your lap only works in two situations:
  1. Baby is not yet old enough to sit up by themselves and/or reach the keyboard 
  2. You have your screen split with a TMBG DVD so baby watches that while you type in a tiny squished up window on one side of the screen.
Failure to comply with the above results in something along the lines of this:   
     dd ds  `  rffv fvrtc fff, a spotlight search, your window minimised and a slimy keyboard.  

Every fine day is a blessing.  Wash everything you can, heck, even find things to wash.  If you don't, mother nature will punish you with five days of rain.
No matter how much you hate folding washing, it is always (always!) quicker to just fold it and put it away than it is to rummage about Mt Washmore every time you need something.  This is extra true when a baby is involved as they always need socks, a flannel, a new overnap.  Do you know how hard it is to find a pair of tiny white baby socks in a pile of clean (white) nappies??  Also:  cats like to sleep on clean washing.

Speaking of the felines... If you are owned by cats, shave them to save having to vacuum every day.  OK maybe not.  But it will be damn tempting, especially when your tiny human is mobile.  (I'm guessing - Alex likes to stay where I put her.)

Lists are great, particularly when sleep deprived.  If you write a list of things and complete a task that isn't on the list, add it just so you can cross it off.  Completely satisfying.

If you'd like to get your pre-baby body back (or better!) don't buy any exercise equipment, just use your baby as a weight!  Resistance increases as baby grows, and you can do all kinds of exercises while holding them - squats (picking up baby), crunches (baby sitting on your stomach), arm curls (holding baby, extra fun if baby is in their jolly jumper harness) - just use your imagination.

Not knowing how to drive helps with weight loss too.  When you're going stir crazy being stuck at home all day, you have no choice but to exercise in order to go anywhere.  Try living at the top of a hill for added exercise..!  *cough wheeze die*

Any good domestic goddess bakes treats for her family (mostly herself) every week.  If you're going to be baking anything that uses baking powder or baking soda, wait until the child is asleep for a guaranteed long nap or for the evening.  Otherwise, as soon as you add the wet ingredients and the mix becomes time sensitive, your baby WILL all of a sudden require cuddles/milk/new nappy. IMMEDIATELY, if not sooner.  It's just not worth the risk!  This is why we often have Afghans in the cupboard instead of cakes.

Finally, there is no shame in writing a blog post while baby is asleep.  Even when you should have been folding Mt Washmore or vacuuming up 39487532 clumps of cat hair.

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